New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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