i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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