The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Randomize
