i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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