i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
