Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
