Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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