Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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