from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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