why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
