Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
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