so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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