Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
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