I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
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