Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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