Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
