This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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