is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
