I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
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