It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
People in love make me want to vomit
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Randomize
