Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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