he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
