Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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