Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
