Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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