I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
