I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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