the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
