i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
