i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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