we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
