I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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