We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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