OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
i think i scared a bird with my dick
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
