dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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