you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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