Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize