there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
zippers are such a cool invention
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
