i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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