so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
