Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
