found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
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It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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