He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
