Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
