Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
