so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
This beer is not sobering me up at all
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
