They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
