This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
