I'm laying in your front yard are you home
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Randomize
