I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
