I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
The maid of honor just puked.
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Come share oat with me in your robe
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.