Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(340): View more from US Virgin Islands

just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?

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(340): just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free? http://tfl.nu/81qf

Replies (17) Good night (997) Bad night (1766)
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(503): View more from Oregon

You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."

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(503): You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin." http://tfl.nu/0mfk

Replies (13) Good night (2716) Bad night (765)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?

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(617): Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness? http://tfl.nu/575t

Replies (18) Good night (5678) Bad night (837)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.

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(617): After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left. http://tfl.nu/2zbc

Replies (1) Good night (5201) Bad night (890)
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(517): View more from Michigan

you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.

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(517): you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs. http://tfl.nu/b4sz

Replies (13) Good night (4739) Bad night (1254)
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(314): View more from Missouri

The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired

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(314): The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired http://tfl.nu/0mk4

Replies (12) Good night (4462) Bad night (891)
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(360): View more from Washington

You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.

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(360): You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part. http://tfl.nu/6s9f

Replies (7) Good night (2466) Bad night (754)
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(512): View more from Texas

you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday

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(512): you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday http://tfl.nu/6yij

Replies (2) Good night (2399) Bad night (677)
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(309): View more from Illinois

cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.

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(309): cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better. http://tfl.nu/6a1r

Replies (2) Good night (1210) Bad night (887)
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(757): View more from Virginia

Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(

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(757): Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :( http://tfl.nu/ztju

Replies (25) Good night (3532) Bad night (782)
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(818): View more from California

I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...

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(818): I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke... http://tfl.nu/h1hr

Replies (3) Good night (2095) Bad night (903)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.

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(732): How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity. http://tfl.nu/tije

Replies (1) Good night (1175) Bad night (329)
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(647): View more from Ontario

didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?

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(647): didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail? http://tfl.nu/zlp7

Replies (11) Good night (488) Bad night (1020)
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(786): View more from Florida

I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.

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(786): I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun. http://tfl.nu/ptqr

Replies (0) Good night (429) Bad night (273)
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(256): View more from Alabama

I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.

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(256): I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula. http://tfl.nu/7slm

Replies (0) Good night (209) Bad night (532)

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