PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
21 MILFs That Made The Boys Crazy
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
23 Ladies Who Have Mastered The Art Of Squirting
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.