Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick