he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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