How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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