And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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