Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
