Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize