He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
