ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Randomize
