I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
