I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
