Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
My ass is underappreciated
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
