Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize