I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
