She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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