i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize