woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize