no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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