I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
